Screw birthdays, Christmas Eve and Halloween. They’ve got nothing on today, ’cause today is 4th of friggin’ May. It’s International Star Wars Day! Obviously this calls for an app of intergalactic proportions. And luckily for you, young app Padawan, we’re handing out four great ideas for free. Appy building, and May the 4th be with you!
DROID DICTIONARY
Droids are those little mech midgets (fine, we’re generalising) that usually know a shit-ton of useful stuff. Their means of communication consists of “beep”, “be-bep”, “blip”, “bziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” and so on. It might sound like noise to you, but in reality it’s a rich and complex language and the key to lots of important information.
For people looking to expand their knowledge on Tatooine cuisine or build a planetary weapon of mass destruction, these guys are your go-to tin cans. Provided you understand what the hell they’re saying, that is. And that’s where the “Droid Dictionary” comes in.
Everyone from bounty hunter to Jawa and Jedi hologram will download this app. Hell, even Captain Kirk will! But then again, who cares?
STAR WARS QUIZ
People love Star Wars. People love quizzes. So we were thinking … make a Star Wars quiz! Mind = blown, right? The Star Wars universe is truly expansive and there’s just so much trivia to draw from. Just make sure not to include anything from Episode I-III. Those are non-canon.
INTERGALACTIC SURVIVAL GUIDE – FEATURING JAR JAR BINKS
Space is a pretty dangerous place with pirates, Sith overlords, hideous creatures and well … space itself lurking behind every non-existent corner. For those out there traversing the vast sea of stars the “Intergalactic Survival Guide” is a godsend.
There are at least 32,000,124 different ways to die in space, and who’s better fit to demonstrate them all – for educational purposes, of course – than Jar Jar Binks? Watch everyone’s “favorite” Gungan squeal in agony as he gets sucked into the flames of a thermal imploder, stars as the main course at an Ewok full-moon party and is sliced-and-diced during an emo Sith tantrum. Thanks to these demonstrations you won’t have to deal with the error part of trial and error yourself.
This is the ultimate killer app, both figuratively and literally. And we just can’t believe we’re giving it away for free. Be sure to mention us in the credits, right?
HAN’S DATING SCHOOL
With the whole universe as your playing field there’s plenty of fish in the sea. But with a near-infinite number of different species and cultures out there you need some serious skills to claim the title of space player numero uno.
Thankfully, “Han’s dating school” is there to offer tutoring from the king of pick-up artistry himself, Han Solo. From frigid princesses to furry man-bears, this guy knows how to charm them all. And so will you. Once you’ve adopted his smooth talking and sexy demeanor, no cultural or biological barrier will hold you back from the fling or ever-lasting love you desire.
Just don’t ask for Han’s advise on family counseling. Trust us – you don’t want it.
